lately, ive been telling myself something...

i want to go to a place where the water flows neither direction, just stays calm, serene. The days never end, but the nights come fast.

idk... i read it in a book in my dream... other than that, not much has been going on really...
HAPPY CHILD GIVING DAY CHRISTA!!!
and btw i found a squee book in my closet tonight... ne idea where it came from??? i do not remember purchasing one... im going to start reading it again... its funny...
toodle loo

so alots happened in this time.... ive lost my job, thanks riddens... ive got GH3... almost beat that on expert, doing better in school... Ash and i arent fighing nemore, but i havent smoked in a REALLY long time...
to me, its more than a high, mroe than marijuana...

The Mirror Which Magnifies
"...Let it be well understood then, by worldly and ignorant fold, curious of acquaintence with exceptional joys, that they will find in hashish nothing miraculous, absolutely nothing but the natural in a superabundant degree. The brain and the organism upon which hashish operates will only give their ordinary and individual phenomena, magnified, it is true, both in quantity and quality, but always faithful to their origin. Man cannot escape the fatality of his moral and phusocal temperament. Hashish will be, indeed for the impressions and familiar thouughts of the man, a mirror which magnifies, yet no more than a mirror."
Charles Baudelaire, The Poem Of Hashish, 1860


Them First Kicks
"It's a funny thing about marihuana-when you first begin smoking it you see things in a wonderful soothing, easygoing new light. All of a sudden the world is stripped of its dirty gray shrouds and becomes on big bellyful of giggles, a special laugh, bathed in brilliant, sparkling colors that hit you like a heatwave. Nothing leaves you cold anymore; there's a a humorous tickle and great meaning in the least little thing, the twitch of somebody's little finger or the click of a beer glass. All your pores open like funnels, your nerve ends stretch their mouths wide, hungry and thirsty for new sights and sounds and sensations; and every sensation, when it comes, is the most exciting one you've ever had. You can't get enought of anything-you want to gobble up the whole goddamned universe just for an appetizer. Them first kicks are a killer."

Mezz Mezzrow and Bernard Wolfe, Really The Blues, 1972
As you can see, theres alot to me..

i refuse to be walked on by a fucking nine year old.

please, just let me down

fucking headaches, fucking jay and silent bob, fucking everything...

current dillemnas;
Jay was not funny without silent bob... soon, in a scence, im going to be losing my silent bob.

These headaches are messing me up... im doing all my work in school, doing good on tests, but missing school still, therefor i am calling the doctor today to either see whether i can take stuff like excedrin while i have taken the medication or up the meds by 25 milligrams to make a difference as was pre-discussed by us.


I miss Pop Pop.



see not as funny

grrrrrr

And sometimes, _ _ _ _'_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ at times.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _'_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _.

And you cant say any different.

listless, a cup of hot tea with no steam, a personal turmoil.
wow... this sucks...
i need to get out and buy a hack sometime when i go to olean... whenever that is nemore...
i need to start preparing...
i always wondered.........
i always dreamed........