hahah

well, things work out in funny ways, they sure do...
recent news, my internet is fucked over, so neone reading this, its prolly y im not online much lateley... umm, a stink bug takes 15 seconds to go *piff* inside of a microwave... pizza and wings last forever round my house... my dad is away in harrisburgh... my mom hasnt yelled at me yet... my grandfather told me he loved me(YAY!!!)... Buster hasnt gotten ne better, but not worse either... dont know when thats happenin... my red hack with the black and white nautical star is no more(for unsaid reasons haha if u were there, u know)... everything has been great with me lately, for the most part... Im Sorry Ed... and not much else really


OH!!! im going to the doctors today to get a mole removed off my neck, they are scalpelling it off, im gonna tell them to not use a sedative... its not changing ur body without pain... dont wanna go into that haha... who would care nways...

but, i gotsta get goig there, i tool the day off just for that...

LATER EVERYONE!!!
<3

should be a good weekend...

well, this weekend, should be pretty eventful... Christa and Ed are coming into town... so were all gonna be hangin out... umm, not much else has been happening... today, im gonna be having to do alot of work, i just finished cleaning my room, now all i gotta do is mow the yard... but im gonna do that after dinner... ive been pretty bored lately... non eventful weekends for the most part, but everynow and then, they flared up haha... school has been okay, i missed a homework thinger... but if my mom holds me there for another term cuz of that, ill fuckin hate her... i havent had many smokes lately... OH SHIT!!!
lastnight, i beat Christa at Toki Toki Boom... fun game, like a tetris with other things to it... pain in the but haha... i havent been too motivated bout nething really... but im super happy cuz my Granfather is gettin better, but then there is my dog Buster, he aint doing good now, fuck, this shit always happens... we are going to have to put him down in like a month... that fuckin sucks, grew up with that dog... but i gotsta get going...
later everybody...

the dead bottom

well, this is prolly the worst ive ever fealt... feel like hitting something really fuckin hard, not cuz im mad, but for the pain of breaking my hand... messed up huh? i had a exciting weekend... nothing was wrong with it... all good stuff... ive been crying for awhile now... gonna dehydtrate myself from the many tears haha... so, in my eyes, material posessions, are partial... even things like friends, they come and go, but this, i want it forever... i dont want to lose it... god, im fuckin depressed(atleast i can admit it)... yah know, the somg Somethin I Can Never Have by NIN is pretty good, describes the way im feelin bout now... but i have something i want... so im good... man, theres alot on my mind, so im gonna get going...

im a fuckin wreck still

god damnit, THAT song came on... i hate it, but still love it ohh soo much, its a very meaningful song, reminds me of someone that i care for ohh so much. it just brings back memories that i wish i could relive. but i cant.

See the animal in it's cage that you built
Are you sure what side you're on
Better not look him too closely in the eye
Are you sure what side of the glass you are on
See the safety of the life you have built
Everything where it belongs
Feel the hollowness inside of your heart
And it's all
Right where it belongs
[Chorus:]
What if everything around you
Isn't quite as it seems
What if all the world you think you know
Is an elaborate dream
And if you look at your reflection
Is it all you wanted to be?
What if you could look right through the cracks
Would you find yourself
Find yourself afriad to see?
What if all the world's inside of your head
Just creations of your own
Your devils and your gods
All the living and the dead
And you really are alone
You can live in this illusion
You can choose to believe
You keep looking but you can't find the words
Are you hiding in the dreams?
[Chorus:]
What if everything around you
Isn't quite as it seems
What if all the world you used to know
Is an elaborate dream
And if you look at your reflection
Is it all you wanted to be?
What if you could look right through the cracks
Would you find yourself
Find yourself afriad to see?

yet again, nother meaningful song

Whoops I od’d, shortness of breath, call ambulance, tell my wife I love her
Error in judgement cut my life, no second chance,no guiding light
I never meant to cause you pain
I never thought I’d be the one who took the fall
I got lost in the moment, assholes like to test the limit
Six minutes down, breathing machine, brain not feel right
The look on you is killing me, drowning in shame
But don’t feel bad, cuz I never feard consequences
Hate regrets more than apologies
A year has passed, like photographs, my life is just
A scrapbook of old friends and faded memories
Looks like I pulled the rub out from under myself
The falls too much for me to recover from
It’s been real fun but now I must say goodbye,
I’ll see you all at okie dogs

A new fad

Pointing angrily... according to a friend, there is something new, pointing angrily... this can be achieved by looking at someone with a mean face, then pointing at them, and shaking ur finger vigirously... after doing that about three times at them, u then turn around, and stomp away extra angrily, a la brandon kitchen... "take ur thumbs out of ur bumbs and do something"

damn...

He's still fuckin in that damn place... i want him out... i want him back... i want to be there by him like i use to be... sit on his lap after school, watch tv, helping me with my homework...
look at me now... a fuckin wreck... cant even do a summary for work... dont ever want to get out of bed... never see him... but i want to... but its just that thing... hmm, enough on that subject...

didnt talk to neone today... NOONE... sucks...

school sucked... got pissed off today...

No smokes all day...

no call, all day...

all day, nothing...

nothing interesting...

goodnight.

i fuckin hate them

well, i get home today, nice day, no rain, no headache, tired, but thats okay... and i walk into the office, and i dont see my mom, oh wait, when do i... so the lady working for my mom says they are at the emergency room... apparently like an hour after i left this morning my Grandfather had someting wrong, hes diabetic, so it was som sugar thing, and hes been there since 10... no call, no nothing, yet again, my family has chosen to leave me in the fuckin dark again, as if i dont matter,just some lil shit they have to deal with... just pay off, and call it fine... its not what i want, but it seems to be what they want... pisses me off, really bad... like a family that even watches movies together does more than what we do, we eat dinner together at most... its bullshit if yah think bout it... he is my grandfather too, i should be told shit like this...

night everyone, ill be in town.